everything

I can’t remember which one of the amazingly wise women in my life first pointed it out to me, but I will never forget the pointing out - - - in John 4 where the woman at the well runs to her community to share the good news that she just met the Messiah.  And she tells them, “. . . he knew everything about me.”

We all long to be known for who we really are. Often, we are afraid that if people authentically knew us – knew who we were when we weren’t on our best behavior - they wouldn’t like us anymore. But truly knowing someone means knowing their issues.

A recent porch conversation with a friend had me babbling about the past. I spilled an old crusty story. After finishing I thought, “Why did I tell her all of that?” I left feeling like a bad listener. The next day, while sitting with a different friend, I became the recipient of an old story. She finished, looked at me and said, “Why am I telling you this?”

We tell our friends our stories, old and new, because the stories matter. We tell our friends stories because there are times when we need someone to listen, even when our tales are tedious and seemingly unimportant. The exciting and mundane parts of us long to be known. 

Authentic relationships mean knowing the layered-ness of our friends:  polite, impolite, hurtful and kind. Tenured friendships that are consensual, honest, non exploitative, mutually pleasurable, and protected, encourage the long haul. And this world is too complicated for anything less than the long haul. 

s

photo courtesy of mugley