sparkfly

growing orbits

2011-11-26T10:16:00.000-08:00

Any one of the three would be miraculous.
S

picture props

tell it

2011-11-04T13:08:00.000-07:00

"You set out to tell a story of some sort, to tell the truth as you feel it, because something is calling you to do so."

Anne Lamott (Bird by Bird)

(photo found here: http://be-the-change.tumblr.com/post/9062985772)

Less is . . . More

2011-10-03T13:08:00.000-07:00

So, guess who decided to get 366 women to write one devotional blog post consisting of 200 words or fewer over a twelve month period? That would be me. And guess who still needs bloggers? That would be me. I know this can work.

Things I'm considering:

Making up 125 fake names for myself so I can be true to the one post per day concept. (yes 125 is about how many devos short I am)
Visiting a random church and asking 125 women who are present to whip out their pens and papers and write . . . on the spot.
~~Writing the women I've already asked to contribute to remind them.~~
Insert your idea here: _____________________

200 words or fewer. We can do this. Want to contribute?
S

(thanks theloveshop for creating this darling print, sold on etsy.)

most

2011-09-30T04:05:00.000-07:00

Yours
Mine
Ours

happy friday,
s

sparkin . . . flyin

2011-09-23T11:05:00.000-07:00

Have all the sparks flown? No way, but July was a long time ago. And beans . . . come on. Here are my dream post titles:

Elisabeth Elliott Doesn't Get to Tell You What to Do
I'm Moving to New York City
Kidete Maternal Health Center Open Now

Happy Friday!
S

My Word

2011-07-25T07:32:00.000-07:00

"Are you still in the word," was the question at a recent family reunion. After quickly translating what he meant, I dutifully answered, "Yes, sir," hoping this would satisfy this cousin by marriage and we could walk away with our second helping of pole beans unscathed and moving in separate directions. Not so fast. Second question emerged with gusto. "But are you deep in the word?" Now I'm feeling less polite and more like a kid being tested. It was a family reunion. There were pole beans. Of course the answer was still yes, but after answering I was lectured.

Why didn't he ask me this question, "Are you still feeding the hungry?" "Don't you work with women on issues related to maternal health? How is that going?" Because, in my opinion, if one was concerned about my "deep in the word(-ness)," the better question to ask might be, "How are those Millennium Development Goals, any progress?"
S

(thanks myrecipes.com for the photo)

3 km to the Right

2011-07-19T18:01:00.000-07:00

A lot of signs captured my attention while roaming the back roads of Ireland. Visible and invisible. Here are just a few.

Way Out

2011-07-18T20:41:00.000-07:00

Renting a car in Ireland meant getting to explore out of the way places. I spent a lot of time driving. Often, the view in the rearview mirror was just as inspiring as the one before me.

Which way to look?

This look on my Mom's face is one of my favorites. And the fact that she made it on her 60th birthday at
Tigh Nan Phaidi Cafe on the Island of Inis Mor, makes me love this picture even more.

Out of the way places I tell you.

Cliff Diving and Driving on the Left

2011-07-13T07:13:00.000-07:00

Ireland was amazing and I'm back ready to enjoy a southeast summer with heat and hot dogs and all things humid. I spent quite a bit of time looking over cliffs - the Cliffs of Moher, the Aran Island cliffs, the Loop Head cliffs. It's a long way down, but the view is breathtaking.

I think I spend a lot of time looking over cliffs in my everyday life too. So what about the Cliffs of Thread 2012 and the Plan C Cliffs? What about the Cliffs of Maternal Health? It is a long way down and the view takes my breath . . . but that can be a good thing. So put October 3 - 6, 2012 on your calendar, let me know if you know of a church staff position that would welcome an outside of the box minister and let's keep working on that global maternal health consortium with Kaa Simon, Neema and Witness.

Tell

2011-06-06T11:06:00.000-07:00

If you love your people, tell them the truth.
Bishop Melvin Talbert
S

thanks to lushbunny for use of the flickr photo.

I will be Her Witness

2011-05-03T07:34:00.000-07:00

I will be her witness.
That would translate sere su testigo, and will not appear in your travelers' phrasebook because it is not a useful phrase for the prudent traveler.
Joan Didion A Book of Common Prayer
s

Sometimes Tears Compel

2011-03-31T11:56:00.000-07:00

Lynsey Addario just made me sob. I don't know her, but I know the images of maternal mortality she captures with her camera. This is a link to one of the most graphic realities of pregnancy and childbirth for too many women in the world. Warning, it is hard to see these images. These pictures will transport you . . . but my ultimate hope is that they will inspire you to gather social and financial capital. Capital that has the power to increase maternal health. We can increase maternal health. These pictures don't have to be a reality.

Lynsey was kidnapped in Libya earlier this month. Some say women shouldn't report in war zones. I just say there shouldn't be war zones. But if they exist, women, their pens and their cameras need to be there recording . . . reporting.

Maternal mortality is a war zone too.
S

(Lynsey Addario, I thank you for your bravery and calling. Please keep taking pictures and telling stories.)
ps Lynsey is no longer a captive! She is free and continuing her craft.

An Open Letter to Whom it May Concern

2011-03-22T12:16:00.000-07:00

Dear Global Minded Mama*:

Maternal Health comes in many forms and is needed everywhere. The World Health Organization estimates that every day, approximately 1000 women die from preventable causes related to pregnancy and childbirth. It is the word preventable that compels me to write you today.

Research shows us that birthing kits and trained attendants greatly improve chances of survival for mothers and babies. What if every local church in the world had a trained birthing attendant? It can be done.

The women of First Baptist Decatur, GA are intricately connected to the women of the Baptist church in Kidete, Tanzania. We need each other. I would love to begin a conversation with you about ways to form maternal health partnerships with women around the world.

Have car, will travel. Have passport, will fly. Together we can increase maternal health.

Would love to hear from you,

Suzanah D. Raffield

*mama defined, for the purpose of this post, as anyone who mothers ... a child, a cause, a world, love.

We are More Alike than Different

2011-03-22T10:32:00.000-07:00

"Solidarity is identifying with one another without feeling like you have to agree on every issue. It's unity, not uniformity . . . It's going deeper than typical ways of talking and sharing - going down to the place where souls meet and love comes, where separateness drops away and you know these women because you are these women."

Sue Monk Kidd

Dance of the Dissident Daughter, 2002

pg. 173

Baptist Women, I Love You

2011-02-18T08:38:00.000-08:00

Listening to recorded conversations with Baptist women I know and love. It really does take a village. Get ready, the book is coming. Really.

Praha

2011-02-08T11:54:00.000-08:00

Prague is a magical place and the last five days served as a reminder. It's not only Prague the city that is magical, but it is Prague the community, my community of friends who do or did live there. Their presence encourages the magic.

Lately I've had to remind myself why I chose to pursue another seminary degree. I've lost that loving feeling for my academic pursuits and it seems as if I've hit a brick wall that just won't give or get out of my way. Oh, I've heard the well meaning tell me that this happens to everyone and I will make it. But what if I don't?

With or without a degree, Prague has taught me a lot. Yes, I am using Prague as a euphemism for IBTS and relationships and professors who have mind bending capabilities. With or without a degree my missiology will never be the same. It can't be the same when one gets to argue the benefits and/or fear of non-reductive physicalism with students from Russia, Israel, and the most conservative parts of Illinois. It can't be the same when one gets to serve communion with a Telegu Baptist who is considered an untouchable by some in his native India. It can't be the same when one has the honor of eating with women trafficked from countries near and far.

I think if professors and students in my home country (and others) knew what a repository of cutting edge ideas, theology, ministry and life altering relationships one could find at IBTS . . . I think if they knew it would be hard to keep them away. And that wouldn't be a bad thing because we need each other. My missiology would like to thank your missiology Johnson, Tima, Jamie, Dilfuza, Susan, Aliona, Weam, Doug, Melody, Kinga, Eli, Andrew, Dejan, Alex, Phil, Hannah, Helle, Mark, Julie, Olu and Magdi.*
Love, S

*There are too many to name everyone. Thankful nonetheless.

strings

2011-01-25T12:19:00.000-08:00

Frustration tends to fuel my ability to communicate a message. Not today. A conversation with a dear friend has me disquieted . . . disquieted with the expectations of others. There is a new movie out, No Strings Attached. There are always strings, but what if one discovers what she thought was her string, is really someone else's? Oh I'm talking in code because this conversation isn't anonymous and I'm still not able to shed the "polite company" requirement this chat seems to "require." But I'm tired of other people's strings. I have enough of my own.

For Better

2011-01-05T17:47:00.000-08:00

Weddings come in all shapes and many sizes. Not sure of an exact count, but I estimate that I've attended at least four dozen ceremonies and their receptions. Don't tell the other 47 families . . . but the wedding I attended this New Year's Eve was my all time favorite. Hands down. No contest.

What were we discussing?

Alone these women are powerful. Together, they hold "leaping tall buildings in a single bound"powers.

Congratulations Blake and Scotty!
Love, honor, cherish,
s

wrap it up

2010-12-10T10:39:00.000-08:00

Tis the season. Don't forget to breathe and consider the lillies. Here are a few gift ideas for those near and dear . . .

Anything Goodwill - vintage and a bargain. Always the perfect combo!
Because we all long to Dance.
One size fits all. In honor of the beloveds in your life.

Longing for a warm fire and large amounts of laughter with family and friends.
s

reconnaissant

2010-11-24T10:55:00.000-08:00

give thanks

1. Pie

2. Incredible Young Women
3. Wild Things
4. Not So Reckless Abandon
5. Confessors
6. The whole world
7. Beginnings
8. Bold Ideas
9. Courage
10. October 3 - 6, 2012

photo taken by author, brooklyn flea market, october 2010.

more than a zipper

2010-11-22T08:38:00.000-08:00

Zipper.
I forgot about mine.
Neema says it's the little things.
The woman is true.

For the long drawn out back story keep reading. To remain mysterious and intrigued, stop now. Either way you get to read the name of one who is stunning.

*****

Sitting in church today I realized I had forgotten to zip up the back of my dress. It happens. Living alone means when I forget to finish getting dressed, there is no one to call out as I'm walking out the door, "Hey, zip up."

I started thinking about older women who have lost the agility to do their own zipping. And those who may live with a partner of decades, but they no longer speak, not the way they used to, and asking for help would be out of the question. As usual, my mind floated to my teacher in Tanzania and her wise words about remembering the little things that are, in reality, never small.

(thanks to the Nov. 21 edition of post secret for the intrigued photo)

(oops photo courtesy of Jiji's flickr page)

everything

2010-11-08T14:45:00.000-08:00

I can’t remember which one of the amazingly wise women in my life first pointed it out to me, but I will never forget the pointing out - - - in John 4 where the woman at the well runs to her community to share the good news that she just met the Messiah. And she tells them, “. . . he knew everything about me.”

We all long to be known for who we really are. Often, we are afraid that if people authentically knew us – knew who we were when we weren’t on our best behavior - they wouldn’t like us anymore. But truly knowing someone means knowing their issues.

A recent porch conversation with a friend had me babbling about the past. I spilled an old crusty story. After finishing I thought, “Why did I tell her all of that?” I left feeling like a bad listener. The next day, while sitting with a different friend, I became the recipient of an old story. She finished, looked at me and said, “Why am I telling you this?”

We tell our friends our stories, old and new, because the stories matter. We tell our friends stories because there are times when we need someone to listen, even when our tales are tedious and seemingly unimportant. The exciting and mundane parts of us long to be known.

Authentic relationships mean knowing the layered-ness of our friends: polite, impolite, hurtful and kind. Tenured friendships that are consensual, honest, non exploitative, mutually pleasurable, and protected, encourage the long haul. And this world is too complicated for anything less than the long haul.

photo courtesy of mugley

no more sides

2010-11-01T14:30:00.000-07:00

Lately I keep bumping into sides - "Laura's side", "Rose, Margaret, and Sylvia's side", "middle school girls' side" and "high school girls' side". There are sides for the girls who, "wear their skirts too short" and the ones who, "get away with everything and we never do anything wrong." Ugh, sides are dizzying.

How do we teach that the, "we are all in this together side," is the best place to land?

We need each other - short skirts, long skirts, decided to wait, decided not to wait . . . we need each other regardless. Women, we must love one another. No more sides, K?
S

thanks to geyerba for the friend photo.

choice

2010-10-25T10:50:00.000-07:00

"Ms. Raffield, I've been thinking . . . I want you to have a baby. You would make a great mom," said one of my students. Flattering, I think. Probably not going to happen. Here's to every woman who would make a great mom, but has chosen not to be one. In their honor I'm posting two of my favorites:

Gloria Steinem

photo found here

On Outrageous Acts

A conversation

Alma Hunt

LeAnn Gunter Johns and Alma Hunt

(and peace and rest to rev. gunter johns whose baby boy will appear any day now)

And just because we need to know:

authentic

grassroots

activism

Walk of the Divine

2010-10-18T13:37:00.000-07:00

We walk in divinity. Every cell and nail, every creak and ache are signs of our Θεοτόκος - we are God bearers.

For my 50 and older friends, please consider participating in this survey.

Today I'm thankful for those who teach me what it means to be human. Wrinkles and stretch marks make us no less Divine.

Pictures courtesy of juL and Jukka Vuokko.
And thank you Jamelah, for wanting a picture of your grandmother's hands.
PS no joke, i'm looking for a new moisturizer - one with a kick. let me know if you have a fave.

friday loves

2010-10-15T08:50:00.000-07:00

Simple and profound loves . . .

October ferry rides and meetings with Baptist women

Kate Spade reading list and other treats
the latest lonny magazine

the brooklyn flea market

free podcasts and women of vision
big fool blankets at the Gramercy Park Hotel
sisters and their loves
grassroots efforts that make a difference

Take Courage

2010-10-13T19:28:00.000-07:00

Some days require more attention than others. Take good care.

You can own your own Sarah Gardner print by visiting here.

Pulpits for Women

2010-09-27T09:23:00.001-07:00

In Defense of Al Mohler

2010-09-17T11:50:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately, the September 14 ABP article on Al Mohler's recent chapel sermon has become a tool for moderate leaders seeking to use the classic bait and switch. For years I've fallen for this smokescreen, but not this time. I'm looking past the smoke and heading for the closest emergency exit.

The real story isn't Al Mohler's tired message. We've heard it before. His lack of support for women in ministry is well documented and widely known. The real story is the need for publishing Dr. Mohler's not so breaking news.

If Cooperative Baptist Fellowship supporters are busy lamenting the sad reality of women in Southern Baptist life, they are less likely to be concerned about the sad reality of women in Cooperative Baptist Life. If CBF supporters can rally around the archaic words of Al Mohler, they are less likely to absorb mirror issues in their own fellowship.

Almost 20 years ago, the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship formed, in part, because of the Southern Baptist Convention’s unwillingness to support women in ministry. For almost 20 years CBF women have been encouraged to, "Hang in there. Keep pushing. Your day will come.” The recent quoting of Al Mohler in ABP helps the cause of those attempting to direct gazes elsewhere.

Al Mohler is no longer our enemy, but he is the perfect decoy.
S

(Thanks to sixsteps for the use of the photo)

Five Years from Now . . .

2010-08-13T16:37:00.000-07:00

You asked me where I wanted to be in five years . . . I told you the truth, but not all of it. Certainly, I have many dreams. And if you had asked me five years before where I wanted to be now, I would have never responded, “Living in Florida, working as a dorm mother.” Truthfully, there are days that I am disappointed in myself . . . disappointed that I’m not where I thought I would be. I’m not sure where the detour started or even if I’ve been on a detour. Maybe it was the plan all along and my questioning is the detour. Did the detour begin when I handed C. my resignation letter or when I told B.C. that I could not be the next age-level leader for her state? Did it begin when I told A. I wouldn’t marry him or when I told him I would date him? I just don’t know, but what I do know is that God is faithful and I feel more on path now than I’ve felt in years. I feel more certain about the five years before me than the five I’ve just completed.

My faith is and isn’t shaky. My research, for school, has taken me to theological and missiological places I didn’t know before. As thankful as I am for all I have learned and continue to learn, I know that because of these revelations, I will never read the Bible the same again. I miss the Bible of my youth. The one I was sure about and never questioned, even when it told me things I didn’t understand. I miss the certainty that came from just holding it in my hand as I breathed silent prayers of concern or praise. I miss assurance and yet even as I type this I am sure.

Five years from now . . . I pray you find me with a finished dissertation complete with accurate footnotes and a concise and meaningful title. Five years from now I hope to have a cohort of ministers with whom I work daily on issues related to increasing education, economic development, and health care for women. Five years from now I hope that Blooming Night Books has published at least 17 stories of women in their own words. Five years from now I hope that I will be a teacher and minister and friend living in community and donating generously to the Fistula Foundation in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. Five years from now I hope to have a real delegate card to the UN through some NGO, preferably the BWA. Five years from now I hope that it is OK for me to share my views on the importance of reproductive freedom for all women everywhere without well meaning sisters and brothers calling me a heretic and unchristian. Five years from now I hope to be at peace, truly at peace, with my decision to have or not have a family complete with husband and child(ren).

There are other things I would add to the list like the establishment of a training center for women similar to Mission Year but for women interested in local and global ministry. And being a Maternal Health Global Consultant . . . but adding those attaches a greater element of vulnerability and ups my level of hopefulness concerning their outcome . . . I’m not sure I have them figured out enough to verbalize them. Maybe that is what I should add, that in five years I hope to be more confident in my lack of knowing.

Five years from now let’s meet in Durban, South Africa and you can ask me the question again. I might be busy making sure the shipment of books written by some of the women present have made it through customs, and you might be teaching a workshop on chaplaincy among children or autographing your new bible study, but we will make time and remember the past five with fondness.
S

thanks to rustman for the use of the five photo and to C for asking the question with authenticity.

Around Here

2010-06-06T13:38:00.000-07:00

Rachel didn’t get up that morning intending to pilfer her sister’s husband. “That’s not how we do it around here,” Laban would later tell Jacob.

He could have spoken those same words seven years earlier. Laban could have told Jacob by firelight the first night his future son-in-law appeared proclaiming to the local boys they needed to head back to the fields. It was, “. . . too early to come in for the day.” But that’s not how they did it around there.

It seems like no amount of dark night or stout wine could conceal one’s beloved. Oh, but it did and then it was 14 years later and Rachel was dead. And I wish with all my might that she wasn't buried by the side of the road and that her maternal mortality wasn’t the way we did it around here.
S

*Thanks to madmonk for the photo of the hennaed hand.

Old Boxes

2010-05-04T07:28:00.000-07:00

How can I convince someone of the deep love of our creator when she has no history with this far reaching, widely accepting, extremely loving God? How do I assure her there is nothing that can separate us from God's love?

My young friend has no history with my Jesus who isn't mad at her. She doesn't know my accepting God or even my neighbor's fundy God. I grew up on sweet tea and old school fundamentalism. I could quote Beth Moore and Romans 8:28. My new friend has no foundation from which to draw. I guess what I am trying to say is, on really tough days I start craving my box - the Jesus box that was a large part of my growing up years. This box is where things are concrete and answers can be found through early morning quiet times.

I've moved beyond my box, but was my life within its walls a necessary stop along the way? Is it possible to convince my young friend of a faith that moves mountains if I withhold from her those who believe those mountains are literal?

When she says, "It's too hard, this being a Christian. God must hate me," what should my counter be? This morning I pulled up youtube videos of Beth preaching about forgiveness. She spoke of letting go and giving things to God. She told listeners, "...no matter where you've been or what you've been through, you can be free." But I never heard her explain the nuts and bolts of finding freedom.

The answer is belief and community and good friends with patient ears and strong embraces. The answer is that God lives and moves and has being in each of us. The answer is in my being God to her and you being God to me. Immanuel, God with us, indwelling in us. The answer comes with years of just knowing because you know and God is.

How do I tell my young friend that without introducing a box? Because right now, if I thought the box would give her peace, I would pull it out of storage and climb in with her.
S

thanks to ohmann alianne for the photo.

Let the Women be Saved in Childbearing

2010-03-12T14:43:00.000-08:00

Today's post is borrowed from my dissertation diary blog.

“. . . and women are to be saved in childbearing.” That was part of the answer P@ige P@tterson gave me when I asked him if there would be a place for me to serve post seminary graduation. His answer was no, “ . . . if you are speaking of pastoral ministry.” “But why Dr. P@tterson,” I asked? He said, “Because women were last to be created, first to fall, and saved in childbearing.”

I had heard rumors of a similar statement he had made at the Baptist seminary in Missouri. But I never really believed it until I was the recipient of his words.

Saved in childbearing. It seems so ironic considering that every minute of every day a woman dies as a result of pregnancy. It seems so ironic considering that statistically speaking I will never have a child. And mostly, it seems so ironic considering that P@ige P@tterson was right. The subject of childbearing is saving me . . . it is what wakes me in the morning and rocks me to sleep at night.

Saved in childbearing, saved in childbearing, saved in childbearing. May the women of Burma and Bangladesh, Jacksonville, and Jakarta be saved in childbearing.
S

The painting, Melon Belly, is the creation of Sarah Ayoub Agha whose work is featured in a current UN exhibit, "The Reflective Mirror".

and again i say, cedaw

2010-03-08T13:21:00.000-08:00

It's week two at the UN CSW and I'm reminded why this week is equally fabulous. It's calmer, but there's more concentrated energy. The activists are here this week. Skilled, thoughtful, experienced. I like the activists.

I'm listening to a panel discussion on "The Impact of CEDAW Ratification on Women's Rights in the U.S." The US delegation is here. So is Charlotte Bunch.

It's a good day at the UN.
S

(thanks to mauspray for the photo found on flickr)

seamless conversation

2010-03-02T20:00:00.000-08:00

I have really good friends and tonight I shared a meal with one. The last time I saw her was in the Amsterdam airport. I landed early one morning on my way to the US from Tanzania and Lauran was there to meet me with coffee and seamless conversation. I can't say that tonight we picked up where we left off, because our dialogue never drops.

It's good to be back at the CSW and it is wonderful to be among friends.
S

ps
as long as we are having seamless conversation, i have a question . . . i loved trying on these shoes tonight and the ones that were on sale were oh so fabulous, but why are "high heeled" shoes "hot"? what is that about? you know i couldn't preach a sermon in these things. regardless, it sure was fun being as tall as you.

Hooking Up?

2010-02-26T14:59:00.000-08:00

There are some interesting and needed conversations going on surrounding a recent blog post by Rachel J. Simmons. Her words have me wishing for a dialog with ministerial peers who understand the constraints our recovering southern evangelical culture often imposes concerning issues of female sexuality. Instead of offering education and empowerment, our culture tends to hand out fear and prooftexting as a means to control wayward desires.

Rev. Debra Haffner of the Religious Institute has offered a helpful guideline for those trying to determine if they are ready for a sexual encounter. In her book, What Every 21st Century Parent Needs to Know, Rev. Haffner lists criteria for a moral, ethical sexual relationship:
Consensual
Nonexploitative
Honest
Mutually pleasurable
Protected against pregnancy and disease of any type of intercourse occurs

Also listed are three conditions that help individuals know if the five criteria are present in their relationship:
Time
Communication
Shared Values

As a minister and a feminist, I am supportive of the sexual equality of women of all ages. When reading articles about the casual sexual encounters of young women today, I am concerned that in our thankfulness for their sexual empowerment, we are neglecting the balance needed as we honor our bodies and the relationships we make whether casual or long term. When using Rev. Haffner's criteria as a guide, in my opinion, hooking up does not allow enough time to determine whether or not the encounter is beneficial to those involved.
S

What Goes In

2010-02-23T08:23:00.000-08:00

What goes in, must come out. This week I'm reminiscing about my high school youth group trips. We had a rule in our youth group - no secular music allowed on trips - only Amy Grant, Michael W. Smith, and Sandi Patti could tag along. One memorable trip, Shannon Myer copied over her Wayne Watson tape with some 80s big hair bands and had a secular music song fest in the back of the bus. Our youth minister packed her up and shipped her by Greyhound back to her, no doubt, displeased parents.

Now I drive buses of teenagers to and from activities and I have grown weary of much of the secular music to which they listen. I am tired of singing about the degradation of women. I am tired of hearing, over and over again, how a woman has a rear that will swallow up a g-string. And this one, which drives me absolutely crazy, "I'm trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful." Seriously? How about these words, "Hi, you look very nice tonight"?

My girls, your girls, everybody else's girls listen to these songs over and over again. These are songs that condition and prompt them, I believe, to act in ways that are beneficial for those who find it easy to disrespect women. How do we teach our girls that this type of music is unhealthy? Digesting this type of music has a direct effect on actions. Those who write these songs, produce these songs, and play these songs know that.

Body Theology manifests in multiple revelations. Who we think we are as body selves directly affects our actions. What goes in must come out. That holds true for the man who grew up under decades of conservative Sunday morning sermons that prescribe who God is based on a theology of fear instead of love. It holds true for the girl exposed to True Love Waits who now has trouble reconciling her sexuality. What goes in must come out. So this music that my girls listen to scares me. It scares me that they are constantly bombarded with hyper sexualized messages detailing how they should dance, what they should wear, and how low they should go.

I most certainly will not offer the average contemporary Christian song as an alternative. I question the words in many of those songs too. I've taken to classical these days. The girls don't really appreciate that, but we seem to be settling on the music that Shannon Myers had on her taped over copy of Wayne Watson. Yes, 80s big hair bands and Lyndard Skynard are offering us alternatives. We could argue the sexism in those songs too, but I feel the women depicted are on a more equal basis with their male counter parts. They are more often players in the scenarios and not just objects.
S

To Write Love On Her Arms

2010-02-20T19:32:00.000-08:00

Body Theology
http://www.twloha.com/index.php

Remembering a Favorite Ash Wednesday

2010-02-17T08:35:00.000-08:00

"Our Ash Wednesday service was one of my most meaningful experiences as a minister. I can’t explain it, but repeating, “It is from dust that you were formed and to dust you will return,’ while marking the heads of young and old was powerful and comforting.”

I honestly don’t know how to describe how it felt to look into your eyes as you came forward for your ashes. One would think that repeating words about death would be depressing, but on that day, for me, it wasn't. I was reminded that we are not alone and that our lives are part of something bigger than just our flesh and this earth."

"But the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases."
S

What if General Assembly Were Like Fashion Week?

2010-02-16T05:50:00.001-08:00

What if General Assembly were like Fashion Week? Each year (or every two years) denominational groups gather to wow their constituents with updated curriculum and workshops that are designed to teach the latest studies or missional emphases. Denominations could learn some valuable presentation lessons from New York City's semi annual Fashion Week.

Dream with me for a moment . . . what if CBF (Cooperative Baptist Fellowship) had tents set up throughout the grounds of their rented space and each tent was hosted by a different "designer" (designer of curriculum, books, missional thought)? The goals of these tents would be to inspire those visiting. There could be swag, and I'm not talking about lanyards, random jar openers and key chains. Let's say this swag came from businesses and companies that understood the power of a collected group of people gathered as a captive audience. CBF constituents buy soap and shampoo. They shop at Target and Banana Republic. With a little extra effort, swanky swag could happen.

And let's say that twice a day their was a runway showing of ideas and dreams. The spring or fall line that CBF had decided to roll out for the critic's review. There would be live blogging, twittering, and video streaming. A synergy of generations and thought waiting to inspire and be inspired.

Let me know when the tents go up.
S

to all my grandmothers, mothers, sisters, aunts, and friends

2010-01-05T12:04:00.000-08:00

Your face is a treasure map of good times and sweet dreams.
Do not change it except through continued smiles
and your occasional, concerned furrowed brow.
Your lines are amazing.
Teach me to age.
Lovely.
Beautiful.
S

Maternal Health for All Seasons

2009-12-19T11:42:00.000-08:00

Our God, it is the season of Advent and we anticipate your birth. With new beginnings on the horizon may we usher in a time of awareness that educates your people about the need for international family planning. May we herald this hope for women everywhere as we celebrate an epoch of love.

Our God, it is Epiphany and you come to us in a forward motion of revelation. Reveal to us how we can increase maternal health globally. Inspire us to train midwives. Inspire us to be midwives.

Our God, it is the season of Lent and we wait with you in quiet reflection and midnight gardens. May we watch and pray for the women of the world who do not have access to reproductive freedom. May we fast for those who find themselves at the mercy of biology in a world where every 60 seconds a woman dies from a pregnancy related cause.

Our God, it is Easter and your Sunday morning greatness is too much to comprehend. Overwhelm us with hope for those who are engulfed by death. Bring to life a movement of education, economic development, and healthcare for women and girls around the world. You are the God of resurrection. May it be so for those in their ninth month of pregnancy.

Our God, it is the season of Ordinary Time and we sit with you in calm thanksgiving. Deep breath in and deep breath out. Ten fingers and ten toes. May we reflect on the possibilities of a world where babies are planned and mothers are healthy.
S

layers

2009-12-09T11:23:00.000-08:00

It's been one of those weeks. A week that starts with a dreaded late night call and continues with daily questions so personal that there are times when I think there is no more ministry left in my body. But amazingly, there is. It is like the oil that fueled the Hanukkah miracle . . it keeps coming, unexplained.

I work with teenaged girls and there is always drama, but this week is exceptional. Our layers of selfness are deep. Teenaged girls are no different from their older sister counterparts and like us, they cover who they really are with superficial overlay as a kind of foil. Sometimes I forget and their sighing, eye rolling, and seemingly uncaring attitudes cause me to bristle. But underneath those layers are amazing girls waiting for a word - waiting for me, you, us to be in their corner even when they act like they don't want us to be - especially when they act that way.

This post is a lot of everything and nothing because I am bound by confidentiality and friendship laws, but my bottom line is - this week my mother muscles have been exercised. This week I've thought about maternal health contextually as sometimes maternal health means going to bed early or watching a movie. Tomorrow, my phone will ring again and there will be more conversations and airport rides and God forbid, hospital visits.

I'm amazed, once again, by Body Theology - mine and theirs. All of it is nothing short of miraculous.
S

Body Theology

2009-12-06T18:48:00.000-08:00

Imago Dei.
Love metabolized.

I Do Not Understand

2009-11-18T08:24:00.000-08:00

A Somali woman was stoned to death today. She was 20 and recently gave birth. Her baby was stillborn. I do not understand.

I do not understand why she had to die. I do not understand why the father of her baby was given 100 lashes, and she was murdered. I do not understand why we don't know her name.

Every minute of every day a woman dies somewhere in the world because of a pregnancy related cause. Causes can include sepsis, hemorrhaging, obstructed labor, and eclampsia. I do not understand why I have to add stoning to the list of pregnancy related deaths.

I know how to gather supplies for birthing kits and work with local villages to arrange skilled birthing attendant training. I know how to encourage people of faith to learn more about what they can do to increase maternal health globally. How do we increase maternal health by decreasing stoning?
S

photo courtesy of Gavatron's flikr photo stream

Sisters

2009-11-12T07:08:00.000-08:00

Eloquent, waxy words for the academy are what I need to be writing. I have explanations regarding Plato's influence on Christianity and the importance of losing dualistic thinking. But all I want to say is this,
In the beginning, God said, "Let us make humankind in our image."

The reasons to increase maternal health are plentiful. Even still, I continue to herald one. The woman giving birth in Tanzania is my sister.
S

Conceive

2009-10-31T09:37:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been studying mothers in the Bible. There are examples of women who were unable to conceive, but eventually all of them gave birth. Where are the stories of the women who never had children? Is Anna from the temple one of those women? What about the woman with the issue of blood? So often fertility is used as a spiritual marker in the Old and New Testaments. Surely there were faithful women of God who desperately wanted to give birth, but did not.

I wonder, if their stories were a part of the Bible, would infertility be less stigmatized? If pastors could stand in their pulpits on Sunday morning and share the words of childless couples who parted oceans and led their people to safety, would those unable to give birth feel comforted? Does what we say (or don't say) in sermons have the power to affect the way those who are infertile view their state?

Yes, yes it does. Pulpits can encourage and de-stigmatize. The church can increase maternal health. Positive Body Theology is of utmost importance and Sunday morning sermons are exactly where it needs to be discussed.
S

photo courtesy of MassDistraction's flickr photostream.

Aunt Esther's Advice

2009-10-08T13:36:00.000-07:00

I should be writing about maternal health and the benefits of economic development. I need to be soliciting support for universal girls' education. And there is that post on the summit the Religious Institute led in Atlanta last month. Still trying to get copious amounts of words on dissertation pages. Instead I will post this picture of my $1 estate sale find.

"'Take the plunge,' Aunt Esther advised. 'What the hell.' In the desultory scatter of her senior year - a bemused, irritable period of killing time like what Essie imagined pregnancy to be - she found herself . . . "
In the Beauty of the Lilies by John Updike

You

2009-10-07T07:32:00.001-07:00

This morning I pulled out candles from Idjitmi and thought of you. I thought of you Brandy and your sparkling eyes filled with camp week excitement. I thought of you Hephzibah and my favorite vesper memory ever. I thought of candlelight and morning watch. I thought of Pinnacle Knob and hiking in the rain. I thought of that magical time between staff meeting and lunch where the day was free to be whatever it wanted.

Today my WMU perpetual calendar is telling me to "Think long thoughts," courtesy of Fannie E.S. Heck. Today I thought of you.
S

Mothers are Powerful Pt. 2

2009-10-02T08:49:00.000-07:00

Mothers love fiercely. Aren't we thankful. It's parents weekend on my campus and the mothers are out. I love how they tend to their daughters with protection and pride.

I'm including a picture of T and her mother taken at T's wedding last weekend. Their embrace and expressions say it all. It was a wonderful day.

S

The Look

2009-09-30T13:50:00.000-07:00

Like it or not, mothers have a major influence on their daughters. You know that look a mother gives her daughter when she doesn't like her daughter's haircut or outfit choice? That look has the power to boil my blood AND incite an outfit change ASAP.

Recently, my mother made a point of telling me about a new book. It was another organic smorganic book that she had no doubt heard about on NPR. I'm sure she said a lot of interesting things about the book, but this is what I heard:
*You should stop drinking your Diet Cokes.
*Processed foods are bad for you and I know you eat them all the time.
*That blemish on your chin wouldn't be there if you were more careful with your diet.

In reality, she said none of those things - directly. But just like the, "I don't like the way you are wearing your hair" look, I heard between the lines.

The crazy thing is I love NPR. I appreciate organic products. But when she pushed them my way I fiercely guarded my Diet Cokes and refined pasta.

So imagine my shock when I found myself driving to the book store today and asking if they had the book in stock. Yeah, I caved. Meet the new book. It does sound pretty interesting. Gah.
S

Praying for M

2009-09-23T08:01:00.000-07:00

M's baby hasn't come. The village midwife thinks it should have been here by now. M is worried. The midwife is worried. I am worried and so far away. And it's not that I am an OBGyn or have some unique ability to make things better, but I wish that i was there. I would ask to put her in a car and drive her to the nearest clinic with equipment that could monitor her progress. And so we wait.

M is the secretary of the Ushirika Wa Wanawake Kidete. She took some sewing classes a few years ago. This summer she helped me teach the women to hold scissors. Oh God, we need for M. to be ok. We need her baby to be ok. Please pray with me for M.
S

ps If you have the initials MF on a kitenge you purchased, M made it.

No

2009-09-18T19:35:00.000-07:00

The book of Esther is one of my favorites. Lately I've been studying Queen Vashti and all of her amazingness. We don't get to spend too much time with her, but the chapter she is with us makes a big impression. Vashti was a woman who knew what it meant to set a boundary and live with the consequences of doing so.

I need more Vashtis in my life . . . people who show me, by example, what it means to exemplify charm, grit, and manners. Yesterday I wrote her a letter. My plan was to blog it, but I find myself fearful of what someone might think. It's ironic, I know.
Here's a paragraph.

I wish the Old Testament shared more of your story. No matter how often I tell myself that boundaries are good and that pleasing isn’t always, I still find it hard when faced with dissent. And it’s more than that – it’s feeling like I am jeopardizing my job (present and future). It is feeling like I am not being a team player. I want to play on a team that honors who I am as a woman, not because of my body, but because of my contributions as a minister, friend, teacher, student. I want to walk into a room and feel like I changed something for the better, not the worse. I want to stand behind a pulpit in a sweater set. I want to have faith in my denomination.

That is all for now. Read her story in the first chapter of Esther. I love that she said, "No."
S

*photo courtesy of Grebo Guru

Remembering the Good Girl

2009-09-14T08:34:00.000-07:00

Somehow, growing up, I got a reputation as "the good girl." My good girl rep. involved church, bible memorization, prayer, and a general resistance to peer pressure. In fact, peer pressure never really pressured me. If my eyes were fixed on something, I did not often deviate.

Church family would praise my focus with a quick side hug and comments like, "You are so wise beyond your years. Does anyone ever tell you that?" I started getting requests to teach children in Bible school and various church studies before I was even out of high school.

As I left my hometown for college there were many well wishers. I was told what a wonderful preacher's wife I would make. God had other plans and thankfully, I knew how to differentiate between God's voice and the voice of those who claimed to speak for God.

Last week I had the privilege of spending a day with a room full of Baptist sisters (and one brother) at a symposium called, Women, Sexuality, and Church in the South. This gathering was designed as an opening conversation surrounding issues female ministers face in southern, typically evangelical churches. We talked about what it looks like to minister in a region that is often afraid of sexuality. We discussed what it could look like if we encouraged our congregations to re-integrate the spiritual and the sexual. We shared hurts and fears. We offered one another support. We sang. We read the bible. We prayed.

And in the midst of meeting God among my faith community, I received an email asking me what had happened to "the good girl" I used to be. This friend had read about the upcoming meeting and was appalled that I was involved in coordinating the event.

The symposium last week was a wonderful beginning to a much needed conversation about being the hands and feet of God in a deeply fragmented world. What isn't good about that? It was a fabulous day and this good woman is thankful.
S

Many thanks to The Religious Institute (Kate Ott and Debra Haffner) for leading the symposium. You will find a variety of helpful resources on their website. Also, take a look at Rachel Simmons' new book, The Curse of the Good Girl .

A Call for Conversation

2009-08-27T12:45:00.000-07:00

Nicholas Kristof is a friend. We've never shared a conversation, he doesn’t know my name, but I "meet" with him on Sunday mornings and randomly throughout the week when his columns are printed. I look forward to his words and appreciate his consistent and meaningful coverage on international women's issues.

On September 15th Nicholas Kristof is hosting an online seminar advertised as, "A call to arms against our era's most pervasive human rights violation: the oppression of women in the developing world." I know that oppression exists. Therefore it is imperative to dismiss the drama while working on real life solutions. We must be careful and not commodify "The women of the developing world" with articles and seminars. Women living in countries labeled as developing are not puppets for the purpose of selling newspapers or energizing tired and overextended check books in our country's current economic slump.

"The women of the developing world" are mothers and daughters with voices and visions of their own and they must be heard not only to understand their oppression, but in order to grasp our own. We need each other. Their oppression must become my oppression, and categorizing them only serves to further compound the stereotype that our differences outweigh our similarities.

When The New York Times classified the oppression of women in the developing world as the most pervasive human rights violation in our era, what system was used? And when Eric Harr tweeted, "I firmly believe empowering marginalized women will unleash the greatest good the world has ever seen," what did he mean? We must seek to co-empower. Women are not inherently better than men. It is not up to one sex to unleash "the greatest good." Once again, we have spoken for the women of the world while placing the burden of production on their backs.

My call is for conversations regarding stories like the editorials Nicholas Kristof has written. I am thrilled with the momentum and the fact that people are paying attention to international women's issues. Nevertheless, better attention must be paid to the women themselves while working together towards tangible solutions to complicated issues.

Suzanah Raffield

*picture taken by the author, tanzania, summer 2009

A Secret

2009-08-26T11:18:00.000-07:00

*Most days I don't feel it . . . the urgent desire to have a child of my own. For some reason, today is one of those days. Maybe it's because I keep picturing my friend EML with her baby girl on this Women's Equality Day. Maybe it is because I am loving my new job that surrounds me with fabulous and complicated teenage girls. This morning on her Facebook page EML wrote, "I've been singing to J all morning and whispering secrets to her about what life is like! I picked her up and danced with her singing, "Our daughters' daughters' will adore us. And they'll sing in grateful chorus, well done, Sister Suffragette!"

I want to whisper secrets to my children about what life is like. I want to watch them roll their eyes as I make popcorn and require them to watch Iron Jawed Angels every year on August 26. I want to be a parent.

For now I am a parent to about 26,000 projects in my mind and one big research paper. It's hard to whisper secrets to those so if you don't mind, I will tell you one. No one is better than you. You are better than no one. We were all created in the image of God.

Happy Women's Equality Day!
S

* Photo courtesy of reutC's Flickr page. Many thanks to her.

Dear Chiang Mai, I Do

2009-08-17T09:29:00.000-07:00

Next month an old friend is getting married. She is in the dwindling class of mature single women friends I have. However excited I am for her, it seems strange to hear her talk of wedding dress fittings and invitation sending stress.

She holds her hands differently now, my soon to be married friend. I guess I would too if I had a diamond hanging off my engagement finger.

I remember years ago having a conversation with MEM about having it all - the call, the spouse, the children. I was confident in my answer to her, "Yes, you can have it all. Go for it." I don't think I would answer her differently now. However, my all, her all, your all can be totally different. And I'm ok with that. In fact, I'm thankful.

Currently, the only ring on my finger is the beaded one I bought at the night market in Chiang Mai. And as I watch the growing belly of my friend BNMNR I do think about how wonderful it would be to experience in person what I do so much writing about . . . maternal health. At this time, my all is not her all. 70 to 90 years just doesn't seem like enough to me. There is so much yet to do.
S

kitenge love

2009-08-08T13:27:00.000-07:00

Just arrived in a North Georgia town for a good friend's engagement party. She has a delightful guest bedroom with a small window table doubling as a suitcase stand. Scratching her antique table with my antique luggage is not an option. So, what does every smart woman have for day and overnight trips? A kitenge! Don't leave home without them.

Kitenges from the Kidete Women's Cooperative

2009-08-02T09:38:00.000-07:00

bracelet $1

kitenge $10

bag $13

One Simple Way to Improve Maternal Health

2009-07-28T19:51:00.001-07:00

25 Ways to Use a Kidete Kitenge

A kitenge (pronounced, kih-tang-ah) is a daily staple for Tanzanian village women. Typically worn as skirts, headscarves, and baby carriers, kitenges are helpful in a variety of ways. When packing for a trip, I always include a kitenge. They are multi-useful and fit easily in a purse or suitcase. Here are some suggestions for dramatic to sublime kitenge use.

Baby Blanket
Baby Carrier
Skirt
Swimsuit Cover Up
Dress
House Coat
Picnic Blanket
Table Cloth
Pillow
Towel
Sun Shield
Privacy Partition
Casserole Carrier
Hat
Mask
Throw
Head Wrap
Fly Swatter
Emergency Flag
Cape
Apron
Self Defense Tool
Trail Marker
Rope
Philanthropic Increaser of Maternal Health

Each kitenge is hemmed by a member of the Kidete Women’s Co-op (The Ushirika Wa Wanawake Kidete). 100% of sales goes to the women. The women formed the co-op to increase maternal health in their village.

The village of Kidete has no electricty or running water. The co-op meets regularly at the Baptist Church. Needles, thread, and scissors are luxury items that most village women do not posess. For the majority of the co-op participants, the current shipment of kitenges represent their initial encounter with sewing. The first fruits of their hands are powerful. You will find the initials of the woman who hemmed the kitenge on one of its corners.

An Open Letter and a Women's Co-Op Update

2009-07-22T07:26:00.000-07:00

I've returned from Tanzania with an increased commitment to maternal health. I am convinced that economic development and education are obligatory components of the maternal health conundrum. We can assemble birthing kits AND we can buy kitenges and bracelets. Our collective resources are staggering. What the women of Kidete have to teach us is priceless. The letter I am including will introduce my journey to you. We need each other.
S

Dear Virginia and American Baptist Women:

Many thanks for your support of the Kidete Women’s Cooperative (Ushirika Wa Wanawake Kidete). My village women friends formed the cooperative as a way to increase maternal health. 100% of sales go to the women who made the goods.

I’ve just returned from Tanzania and four weeks with the women of the cooperative. My time there was overwhelming in every way possible. Joy and sadness seemed exaggerated by the lives and needs of those around me. As a researcher in Body Theology and maternal health I struggled with the statistic that, in Tanzania, one out of ten women die as a result of pregnancy. This statistic doesn’t have to be, but how do we change it?

On Sundays after church and multiple times throughout my stay, the women asked me basic questions about biology and Theology. We would sit together for hours as I led them through a maternal health Bible study. I wanted them to know that God cares about the health of women. I wanted them to know that one out ten deaths due to pregnancy is too many.

Mid way through my journey I started to feel overwhelmed. The needs were and are so great and I am one person. I believe that as Baptists we are a part of a worldwide network capable of contributing to the increase of maternal health. While in Tanzania I struggled with the vastness of maternal mortality. Yes, we are part of a network, but how do we engage the network?

I thought about the beautiful African cloth the women in the village wear. I thought about the different ways the cloth can be worn and used. I thought about Baptist women in Illinois, Florida, New York, and California. And the women in Kidete began to sew. They made bracelets and what we would call wraps. The women sat in circles and laughed and sang and sewed. As I watched their hands and heard their stories, I felt less overwhelmed.

Within days of returning home I received your letter, Virginia. Because of your meeting 60 bracelets have been sold. My friends from the village are selling the bracelets as a way to purchase a treadle sewing machine. Because of you, they are 60% of the way to their goal. Because we know that economic development means increased opportunities for education, it isn’t just a sewing machine. Increased education means increased healthcare. That is how the $1 bracelets you purchased will increase the maternal health of an entire village.

You will notice that some of the bracelets are better crafted than others. The majority of the co-op participants had never used a pair of scissors before. The women do a lot of work with their hands, but scissors aren’t used in their day-to-day lives. So I am asking you to consider any flaws in the bracelets a part of its worth. Know that your bracelet was made with hands full of hope and love. Your bracelet was made with hands that are typically drawing water, harvesting crops, gathering firewood, and comforting multiple babies. I imagine that as they make more, the flaws will be less frequent. In my opinion, the first batch is worth more than perfection.

The women are busy crafting even more bracelets and wraps. They want to use the money from the sale of the next batch to provide a grant to a sister village as they begin their own co-op. They believe in the power of networking and know that as the economy develops, so will their secondary school and health clinic.

I believe in the power of networking too. Thank you for partnering with us in this endeavor. As you wear your bracelet, know that it is much more than a piece of jewelry. Your bracelet represents maternal health.

Any questions or comments you have concerning global maternal health and the women of the Kidete cooperative are welcome. Again, many, many thanks for your collaboration and purchase.

With great appreciation,

Suzanah D. Raffield

Virtual Mentors

2009-05-20T13:05:00.000-07:00

If it were possible I would just invite her over for tea or for a pancake brunch. Due to distance and mostly stardom- I will have to settle for a virtual mentorship. I have always loved the words and works of Maya Angelou. She has shaped several of my philosophies about life and love. Simply hearing her voice through the television or radio makes my heart rise a bit.

I have been thinking recently about the multitude of authors, mentors, personalities and ministers who help shape my life and calling. The front-runners that come to mind are Sue Monk Kidd, Barbara Brown Taylor and of course- the one and only-Maya Angelou.

Sometimes when I am at work, I "youtube" interviews, lectures or sermons of those that I admire. I figure mentoring can happen anywhere-even if you don't even know them perosnally. So today, I met with Maya Angelou. In the privacy of my corner office she and I had a chat.

In our "chat" Maya made a statement regarding her faith that I am still contemplating. I am still tossing it around and around in my mind. She is eloquent like that though. Her words are more than often prophetic and always wise.

This is what Maya shared with me today:

"I am trying to be a Christian. Of all the things I’ve said this is the most important. Trying to be a Christian is like trying to be a Jew, or a Muslim or a Buddhist or a Taoist. It’s not something you achieve and then you sit back thinking, ‘whew, I’ve got it’. I’m always amazed when people walk up to me and say ‘I’m a Christian’. I think, ‘already, goodness gracious, I’ve spent over 70 years working at it'. So, what I’m trying to do, in everything I do is to be a representative of my God. I am made by God. I am God’s child. I am trying to show that I respect it and I am appreciative of it.”

If I could have it my way, however, we would move our conversation from the stuffy confines of an office to the fresh and carefree ambiance a front porch lends. Perhaps we would shell peas together and drink pink lemonade. We would talk for hours- mostly Mrs. Angelou, that is- about life, love and everything in between. Our conversation would last so long that I'd have to bring out a light blanket and turn on the front porch lights. We would watch the moths collect around the burning lights and occasionally swat a misquito or two. It would be one of those Holy moments in life where you wish time would stand still. If the hands on the clock could stop long enough, you could take in the aroma of left-over coffee, the feel of the cool night air and the sound of an old squeaky porch swing.

What about you? Who would you invite to your front porch?

L

What it Really Costs

2009-05-12T06:34:00.000-07:00

I know that every 60 seconds a woman dies from a pregnancy related cause, malaria kills more than one million people per year, and there are approximately 34 million refugees in the world. I know $3 will purchase a birthing kit that can increase maternal health, $6 will purchase a bed net that can reduce malaria infections, and teaching English at a refugee center in Nashville, TN is free.

I come from a denominational line of people who tend to give more when economic times are hard. I grew up with their stories of sacrifice and service. My GA leaders taught me the value of a dime and a dollar.

If I say, “I can’t afford to buy a birthing kit,” and still pay my XM radio bill each month, then I don’t know sacrifice. If as an organization we say, “As financial resources become available, we will appoint career personnel again,” and office staff continues to increase, then we don’t know sacrifice.

It’s time to get serious about our priorities. And getting serious about our priorities is bigger than lagging donations.

Lead me and I will follow.

“Speak, Lord. Our souls are hushed to hear what Thou shalt say. Overwhelming is the responsibility, but speak, Lord, and tell us what our duty is – how high or how low – and then, great God . . . give us strength to do it.”

(A prayer by Miss Nannie Helen Burroughs, 1911 BWA Women’s Meeting)
**statistics provided by WHO and UNHCR

Suzanah

Embodied

2009-05-10T06:47:00.000-07:00

I spent yesterday afternoon with one of my favorite people in the world. I've always been completely amazed at her natural, God-given gift to minister with presence. She is one of those embodied individuals who fits well in her own skin and as a result, when I'm with her, my skin fits better too.

My friend's mother is in the advanced stages of a debilitating illness. She cares for her mother by bathing her, feeding her, and creating opportunities to laugh with her. We talked about the power of caring for the body. We talked about the power of touch. She said her mother doesn't know her anymore and she prays that maybe, on some level, her mother recognizes her touch. "Her hand around mine is the most familiar grasp I know," she said. "The next time you are with your mother, grab her hand and close your eyes. You could recognize her touch even without sight." Her words made me cry.

Our bodies are more than vessels. Our bodies are ourselves and when a disease takes our ability to remember or communicate, we still have the need to know and to be known by someone. "We cannot be human alone."

Body Theology is beyond what I ever imagined when Dr. Noble first suggested I couple the area of study with maternal health. I have become as passionate about the health of an individual's body theology as I have the health of a pregnant woman and her safe delivery. This realization of the importance of our bodies and the bodies of those around us, affects the way I look at strangers on the street. It affects the way I relate to those I love. It affects the way I think of my own body.

Conversations like the one I had yesterday move me spiritually. It is an honor to care for one who is sick. It is an honor to feed friends a meal that will nourish their bodies. It is an honor to grasp the hands of our mothers.

I know my friend is a wonderful caregiver. On this Mother's Day, I celebrate my friend and her mother whose grasp she knows well. May she take time to care for her own body in the midst of a holy act fraught with love and frustration.
Suzanah

This post appeared first on The Days Were Accomplished.

We Can't Hold Out Much Longer

2009-05-08T11:50:00.000-07:00

This week I met some friends who know from personal experience that the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship is not appointing missionaries. My friends are competent, capable and intelligent. For years they've cultivated relationships with existing field personnel and CBF staff learning by example while anticipating their own ministry careers.

Over lunch, one woman told me, "I wish I had known I wasn't going to have the opportunity to be appointed. I would have spent the last ten years of my life networking with organizations that might actually hire me." Another woman said, "Maybe we should have just stayed with the Southern Baptist Convention. At least they are honest about their requirements."

Former CBF applicants had urged the friends I met to proceed with caution throughout the interview process. According to personal conversations with other candidates, CBF's reasons for not appointing individuals have included: too specific of a call, too vague of a call, too much seminary, not enough seminary, and weight. I understand that many organizations are under increased financial stress, but this is a pattern that seems to have started years ago. I also know that some have been willing to raise their own support and they have still been denied appointment.

Some questions we should be asking:
1. How many career, field personnel positions has CBF appointed since 2006?
2. What are appointment requirements and do candidates receive a copy when they apply?
3. If a CBF congregation wanted to support an individual from their church, is that possible?
4. How many career units has CBF lost or discontinued in the last five years? How many have they appointed in the last five years?

I've questioned whether or not I should write this post. I do not want to seem combative, rude, divisive, disruptive, or unhelpful. I do not wish to embarrass or shame. I write for the ones with whom I met this week. I write because I do not know what else to do. I write because I'm angry and I fear that most don't know this is happening. I write for those who are thinking about whether or not to go to seminary or take out a student loan. I write for those who can't say anything because their jobs or reputations would be jeopardized. I write because I am a student of missiology and I care.

I thought about my reputation and if I might be limiting my future job possibilities. It's probable. And let's be honest, they aren't going to hire me anyway.

I'm tired of waiting for somebody else to say something. I'm tired of hearing the same commissioning speech every summer. I'm tired of field personnel being moved from international assignments to the Atlanta office. I'm tired of pretense prevailing.

Cooperative Baptist Fellowship, "We love you, and we bless you." Where will we go if not with you? As post-denominational as I hear our world is, I think we still need you. We can't hold out for much longer. Sister Cooperative Baptist, Brother Fellowship, we are family, tell us the truth. Help us help you.
Suzanah D. Raffield
suzanahraffield@yahoo.com
205-821-3052

Networking Love

2009-04-28T21:14:00.000-07:00

Network, connect, share, learn, educate, give, receive, laugh, cry, listen, voice . . .
Please fill out this survey. It doesn't take long and the more the merrier. Share with friends. Contact me with questions or if you need to talk. ;)

Networking Love
a survey by Suzanah Raffield
for women of faith
http://spreadsheets.google.com/viewform?formkey=cFQwNFIzUTZobGVtdnREX3NtZmM0TEE6MA

Are you a Baptist Spy?

2009-04-20T06:58:00.000-07:00

"I thought you were a spy," said a colleague recently when speaking about the first time she met me. Apparently my denominational background colors me, conservative. On paper my work experience is almost completely Baptist. "GA Camp Director, Georgia Baptist Convention. Graduate of Samford University, Student, International Baptist Theological Seminary." I am a Baptist and however varied and rich I believe my experience to be, outsiders see me as one dimensional, and apparently, suspect.

A few weeks ago, this became painfully clear while sitting through a one-hour interview with a Catholic Nun who wasn't sure I would be able to minister to people who weren't like me. How did she know what I was like? It's never good to be on the defensive in an interview and in spite of my consistent answer of, "Yes, I understand what it means to minister cross-culturally," my interviewer didn't believe me. It was frustrating. It was pointless. She was wrong. She hadn't done her homework. Baptists are historically progressive and what is the word, oh yes, autonomous. It's true, there happens to be a large and loud contingent that make it clear just how one tracked they are, but I'm not that kind of Baptist.

Should we have a secret handshake or just a louder pulpit? Should I shake up my resume with varied experience? I'm ready. What I fear is that I've landed in that lovely space of in between where, "[I] can't go forward and [I] can't go backward. . . " According to Sue Monk Kidd in The Dance of the Dissident Daughter, that means I am on the edge of creation. May it be so.
S

meet up

2009-04-18T06:35:00.000-07:00

I'm looking for that magical place where grassroots passion and political will meet up. Trudging through these DC streets has me less supportive of anything political even though I know it matters. I came here expecting to find Alice Paul and Lucy Burns. I'm sure "they" are here somewhere, but I haven't found them yet.

What I have found is a more intense focus and the realization that if I want to be part of a movement to increase maternal health, holistic sex education in public schools, or the number of women pastors in the pulpit, it starts with me. I am Alice Paul. I am Lucy Burns.

Even still, I'm looking for a community with whom to share the journey and some contract work along the way.
S

Sue Monk Kidd is My Beth Moore

2009-04-15T08:27:00.000-07:00

Sue Monk Kidd is my Beth Moore. I realized this while watching the "The Secret Life of Bees" movie special features the other day. Ms. Kidd was walking viewers through the Boatwright home and I was reminded just how much I appreciate her. And if August Boatwright were a real person I would definitely pay a visit to Tiburon, SC to convince her that I am an excellent bee keeping friend. I think a one month stay in her pink house would make all the difference.

Today I feel a bit like Lilly, showing up on a stranger's doorstep with a dream. But, thank God for dreams and Sue Monk Kidd.
S

New Teeth

2009-04-14T19:08:00.000-07:00

new teeth on 12seconds.tv

Introducing Aaron William Burgess!

Birth Control and the Church

2009-04-06T18:48:00.000-07:00

I spent the weekend with Christian women leaders from denominations across the US, Canada, and Guyana. There were several opportunities for me to share my passion for maternal health and the research on which I'm working. I did my best to explain body theology and how it contributes to maternal health and maternal mortality locally and globally.

Every time I share my thoughts on maternal health, I am reminded of how important it is for the church to embrace birth control. Birth control, yes birth control. Maybe it's semantics that limits the needed message. What if we called birth control, "How to save the lives of women," pills, or, "Wear this and she will live," condoms?

As I see it, Christians are encouraged to reflect and share abundant life in this world. Somewhere along the way it is as if the church has mistaken abundance as a literal number and not the spirited life of which Christ spoke.

(This post was inspired by a weekend of not saying everything I wanted to say, and Nicholas Kristof's sunday column. Read it here.)

missing

2009-04-02T20:25:00.000-07:00

I miss old school Sparkfly. The Sparkfly when Lori and I were writing every day and I wrote what was true and real in that moment.

I miss Laura Savage's old couch. The one at her condo in Birmingham. The one where I sat for hours as we talked about all things life and call and dreams.

I miss the Acteens at MBBC and milkshakes and dancing in the kitchen.

*photo by SDR, taken this week in Washington, DC during the celebration of the cherry blossoms.

the maternal health commission

2009-03-28T11:18:00.000-07:00

Working on some maternal health resources and was struck with the thought that Maternal Health is my "Great Commission".

SDR Matthew 28:19 - 20 paraphrase:
Go therefore and train skilled attendants and supply birthing kits for all nations, sharing them in the name of God, teaching others that it is because I care; and know, I am with you always, even when sustainability is a struggle and supplies run out.

This passage works for whatever one's great commission might be:
Go therefore and increase education for girls around the world. . .
Go therefore and teach micro-enterprise in Moldova . . .
Go therefore and listen to rural health workers in Burma . . .
Go therefore and encourage young women in the south . . .

Salvation needed right here, right now.
S

From Mandy McMichael

2009-03-27T12:35:00.000-07:00

A Blog of My Own: Pregnancy and Childbirth

No matter your maternal status, get to know maternal safety.
Thanks Mandy.
S

Guest Bloggers Welcome

2009-03-23T09:39:00.001-07:00

Sparkfly is looking for guest bloggers interested in sharing 200 - 300 words on an international women's issue of interest to them.
Some topics include, but are not limited to:
*Increased Access to Education for Girls (see http://www.girleffect.org/)
*Interview a sister student on the subject of post graduation plans (for those in college and grad school). Fears, excitement, dreams, etc.
*What do you think it will it take to make significant progress on the MIllennium Development Goals?
*How do you think the church can contribute to positive body image?
*Insert topic of your choice here.

Remember, posts are only 200 - 300 and can be completed quickly. Please send to: suzanahraffield@yahoo.com

(picture courtesy of caro wallis' flickr photostream, http://www.flickr.com/photos/carowallis1/725892192/)

another day

2009-03-19T10:47:00.000-07:00

The DC area has its charms. Yesterday and today I've camped out at a homey cafe and bakery called Caboose. I fully intended to spend the day at the Library of Congress, but it is raining here and Caboose felt familiar and I'm clinging to that this week.

Yesterday a girl around four years old walked in wearing hot pink rain boots. She immediately zeroed in on a gorgeous chocolate cupcake. As her tiny finger tapped the cupcake case her mom said, "No." Pink boots lifted her brown eyes and said, "Another day."

Here's to another day.
S

* picture is of my afternoon view.

Elizabeth Gilbert and Creativity

2009-03-17T11:30:00.000-07:00

I had a little church just now while watching Elizabeth Gilbert speak on Nurturing Creativity. I know, I know what preaching professors say, but even her back and forth pacing was comforting. Thanks TED.

Relate

2009-03-13T12:49:00.000-07:00

By this time next week the agreed conclusions of the 53rd CSW will be reduced to a multi-paged document, fitting easily in a filing cabinet and an email inbox. The document will represent hours upon hours of time, energy, and effort on behalf of activists, politicians, NGO representatives, ambassadors, among many others. It is not possible to contain the experiences of the CSW to a piece of paper.

For me, the highlight of the CSW is meeting and learning from those who attend. Week two introduced me to a new friend from Georgia, the state, not the country. As a women’s leader in her religious denomination, she attends the parallel events to gain a greater understanding of international women’s issues and to network with other women’s leaders.

My new friend and I had lunch and a fascinating conversation. Anne and I discussed the presence of a group here with a conservative women’s organization. This organization has been advocating abstinence only education and speaking out against abortion in various workshops and side events.

Anne expressed dismay at the way the conservative organization was stigmatized by other NGOs. I have been frustrated with this organization since they arrived. Their vocal arguments for abstinence until marriage and against abortion seemed out of place to me. How can we argue that abstinence is the best choice for women who don’t get to choose? The complexities and emotional attachments to these arguments need no introduction.

Over lunch we discussed the hotly contested issues. Calmly and with ease we gave honor to our different opinions. We built community, understanding, and friendship. It was important for me to remember behind every opinion is a story and an opportunity to learn.

Throughout this CSW I’ve been thankful for the work of Ecumenical Women at the UN. Their morning devotions have helped me center and find comfort in a familiar community. Anne reminded me that within our Ecumenical Women group there are various opinions and beliefs regarding international women’s issues and the definition of women’s rights. Maybe Ecumenical Women at the UN could benefit from a credo similar to the one adopted by the Woodhull Institute. Our own agreed conclusions could remind us of the importance of relating to one another regardless of our belief differences.

These two weeks were important. Agreed conclusions matter. Next week the real labor begins. Some will work by holding governments accountable to what they said they would do. Others will conduct research to present at next year’s CSW. How will these conclusions matter to you, to me, to the women who have never heard of the Commission on the Status of Women? An isolated document doesn’t make the difference.

I’m thankful for women like Anne, Ecumenical Women at the UN, and in a very interesting way, the women from the conservative organizations. Let’s seek to encourage and build that which makes the biggest difference, relationships.

*Some names have been changed.

The Power of Now, the Power of Partnership

2009-03-09T20:27:00.000-07:00

Speaking at the Gender, Sex, and the Power to Survive workshop last Friday, CARE Executive Director Helene Gayle asked those present to consider what could be done for women and girls that gives them agency, capacity, and the power to survive. The panel of researchers present shared their findings on HIV and AIDS prevention among women in sex work. Their research took place over a two-year period in multiple countries.

The workshop was fascinating and I appreciated the obvious knowledge and experience of the panelists who had actually been in the field conducting the research. They spoke with concern for the women with whom they had work. Their wish was for them to be able to make decisions based on what was best for them not only in the present, but in the future as well.

The research conducted was, purposely, a narrow study of women sex workers and what influences their choices about condom usage with their clients. The issue of sex work is complex. Some women choose to become sex workers and some women have that choice made for them. As I type, “some women choose to become sex workers” I am arguing internally with myself. Choice is a concept I think most of us can’t begin to imagine when faced with certain situations and cultural backgrounds.

The research findings showed that the majority of sex workers studied placed a higher priority on present days needs versus future needs. If requiring condom usage meant less money or no clients, most women chose to forgo the requirement. Who can blame sex workers for choosing present day needs over a future that they may or may not to get to experience? Today they have bills to pay. Today they have children to feed.

There were many dissenting voices in attendance and, sadly, many of the disapproving were religiously affiliated workshop attendees. They questioned the study’s purpose and why the money wasn’t used to help the women out of sex work. I was stunned at their rudeness and lack of understanding. Instead of condemning the study, why not see what it has to teach NGOs of the secular and sacred variety?

There is a strong need for NGOs like CARE and faith-based organizations to work together, sharing resources and social capital. We need each other. Faith-based friends, abstinence only education is not the answer. Let’s focus our fervor on partnership. In the words of a CARE researcher who participated in the panel discussion, “There are no easy answers. Invest in people. Invest in understanding. Commit for the long term.”

2009-03-08T18:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Sparkfly co-writer Lori Crowe Burgess’s grandmother died. Mrs. Frances Hardy Crowe was 82 years young. She was Lori’s last living grandparent.

Tomorrow Lori will deliver her grandmother’s eulogy. She is preparing her tribute as she and Jacob fly south with the cutest seventh month old baby around. Tonight is the visitation. Tomorrow will bring additional traditions of meeting, greeting, and eating with family and friends.

I forgot to ask Lori if she has to preach next Sunday. If so, I am going to offer her a sermon from my file. Surely we can make allowances for weeks like the one Lori is having. Maybe a sermon cooperative is needed. There are some weeks when homemade sermons might have to come from someone else’s “kitchen”.

Thoughts and prayers for Lori and her family are welcome.
S

Speak the Unspeakable

2009-03-05T14:40:00.000-08:00

I want to preface this post by stating I have never been raped. I do not know what it is like to experience such an atrocious violation. I am writing from the perspective of an outsider who wants to stand in solidarity with her sisters, locally and globally, who have experienced this atrocious violation. I want to be sensitive to those who have been raped who may read this post and disagree with me. I believe it is every woman’s right to choose weather or not she publicly acknowledges the rape she experienced. It is her right and it is not my right to persuade her to do otherwise.

Yesterday I attended a workshop called “She says no to violence”. It was sponsored by UNIFEM. A variety of panelist spoke eloquently about the need to decrease violence against women and how that was happening in the contexts from which they came. The room was warm. The day was late. My mind began to wonder.

During the question and answer portion of the workshop my attention surfaced in time to hear an NGO representative say, “Of course I would rather have a gun held to my head than be raped.” She was responding to a panelist’s response to her original question and comment. Ironically, the woman who made the statement was from a women’s peace activist group. Leaving the workshop, I walked with the peace activist to the next gathering. She told me she had never been raped and that she could not imagine her personhood being violated in such a traumatic way.

Several years ago a minister friend of mine and I were discussing the disappearance of Natalie Holloway. Ms. Holloway vanished while on a high school graduation trip in Aruba. She is still missing. My friend asked me if I thought Natalie Holloway had been trafficked or if the young men who were being questioned about her disappearance had murdered her. I had no insight and was shocked when my friend remarked that of the two alternatives, she would hope for her death. I was just as stunned after my friend’s statement as I was yesterday when the peace activist made her comment.

If we speak of rape as being stronger than death, how does that honor the life of rape survivors? The World Health Organization estimates that every year more than one million women are raped in South Africa. Women in the Democratic Republic of Congo are experiencing rape as a tool of war in epidemic proportions. In this country we are told that one out of four women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime.1 Women who have been raped are in our churches and car pool lines. They are our children’s schoolteachers and our favorite sit-com actors. They read this blog and their lives, post rape, are just as important and vital as they were pre-rape. We must work to alter the impression that death is better than rape.

I’m tired of being told that rape and certain other subjects are unspeakable. Speaking the unspeakable gives a voice to that which has been kept silent too long. Speaking truth is powerful. The truth of being raped is not my story. However, I will stand beside my sisters who choose to tell their stories and I will remind my sisters who say they would rather die than be raped that the lives of my friends who have been are too powerful to disappear because of an act of violence.
S
1 Sexual assault does not always mean rape. At the time of this post I was unable to find adequate rape statistics in the US.

Thursday CSW Update

2009-03-05T11:38:00.000-08:00

There is too much. I can't keep up with all of the happenings of this week. I am short about 4 blog posts and the experiences keep coming!

For now I will share that this morning I listened to a workshop called,
bridging the gap in a male-dominated society: voices of women in Africa. Loved listening to the African women speak about their own context and not someone else editorializing from a non-African perspective. Not to say that the latter is inherently bad . . . it was simply refreshing to be in the presence of experts.

S

Live Blogging from the UN 53 CSW

2009-03-04T09:44:00.000-08:00

It's Wednesday afternoon and I'm sitting on the second floor of the Church Center and someone is yelling at me. Well, he is yelling as he speaks to everyone in this room. He says, "I'm the yeller because I am not afraid." I'm not afraid and yet I'm sitting here quietly, nevertheless, I would love to stand up and tell him to sit down.

I'm not sure why educated, published, intelligent individuals feel like generalizations are acceptable. I've heard so many during the past 44 minutes that I have lost count. The current speaker has written a popular book on trafficking. I don't want to mention the author's name or the book. Maybe later. Right now I'm going to remain quiet and try to consider the speaker's point.

I wish Karen Smith, Fairy, and Thelma and Jonathan Nambu were here.
S

An Open Letter to Nicholas Kristof

2009-02-15T07:27:00.000-08:00

Dear Mr. Kristof:
Thank you for your weekly reports on issues that matter - especially the issues that are of great importance to me like international women's rights and increased maternal health.

It is your articles regarding women's issues that solicits my letter today. Mr. Kristof, please help your readers want to know the women about which you write. Help us understand that women in the United States and women who live on less than $1 per day are more alike than different. If other readers are like me, they walk away from your words too overwhelmed to act - and seemingly too distant from the issues to engage.

Several months ago you wrote about the acid attacks on women in Afghanistan and Pakistan. A friend was reading the article to me and I finally had to say, "Stop. Don't read another word." What are we going to do about the issue? There has to be another problem solving action besides condemnation. One shaming doesn't necessarily call for another. Yes, we must highlight the issue, but somehow encouraging an international Violence Against Women Act doesn't seem like enough to me.

If your readers can't connect with the women about which you write, they will not be as inclined to speak up for the women and ultimately themselves. If they can't see themselves in the women about which you write, they will close the paper and walk away trying to think about other things. Overwhelmed often equals inaction.

Mr. Kristof, tell the women's stories or better yet, let the women speak for themselves. Highlight the humanity in each of them. Tell us what they long for and who they named their children after. I believe that when we get to know people for who they are and not what is done to them, we are more likely to connect. When our mutuality is emphasized, we are more likely to see one another as partners on the journey. We, the women of the United States, have so much to learn from our sisters around the world. Help us realize that we know these women because we are these women.

With sincere appreciation,
Suzanah D. Raffield

stuffed

2009-02-05T07:29:00.000-08:00

Academia is such a two edged sword. Sitting in a missiology caucus this week I was amazed at the girth of egos in the room. We were talking about the missiology of sustainability and someone mentioned wealth redistribution.

Here's my question . . . If I give you something because I have too much, how is that mission? How does that honor what you have for me? Mission isn't about wealth redistribution. Not in my opinion.
S

calling all angels

2009-01-30T08:49:00.000-08:00

Hello from Prague where I'm looking for a Dissertation Doula. I've created a blog to track my progress. All kind accountability welcomed (or is it welcome - my brain is confusing me).

www.thedayswereaccomplished.wordpress.com

a day of birthing hope

2009-01-20T17:04:00.000-08:00

It's been a good day. There's nothing like watching the inauguration with 3rd Graders at Patronis Elementary School. Thank you Ms. Barker's class.

Yesterday was another Elba day. Birthing kits were counted, sorted, loved. I've posted pictures at the Birthing Hope blog.

We're in need of additional kits and kit items. Speaking of Birthing Hope . . . I have a Washington, DC internship this spring. I'm looking for affordable housing and I'm open to all possibilities. Your connections would be appeciated.

"What if the mightiest word is love. . .",
S

Dr. Smith I Need a New Preaching Class (and a computer that prints on more than 1/4 of the page)

2009-01-18T20:36:00.001-08:00

I preached today in Elba, Alabama . . . "I remember you." It was great to be back with my church family. Oh Elba, how I have loved thee.

After the service, I went to lunch with a few church members. I asked them what they thought my "take home message" was. They remembered that I preached on Samuel. They remembered a few of my illustrations . .. but no one could name a, "so what". Oh no. Maybe I should end every sermon with a recap of at least one main point. Seriously, would that be helpful? If congregants walk away knowing they enjoyed the sermon, but having no idea what I said, is that good enough? I can't imagine that it is.

Here is an excerpt from today's sermon on 1 Samuel 3:

"I’ve read this passage of scripture dozens of times. Samuel’s encounter with God is a famous conversation. In all the times of reading I’ve never focused on the in between moments when Samuel goes back to sleep and Eli is clueless. I’ve always focused on Samuel’s eventual response to God – when he realized that God was talking to him and he answered with those famous words, “Here I am.” I’ve never thought about the process it took for Samuel to get to his response. There was Hannah and her inconsolable tears, a miraculous birth, a move to the temple. There were many nights when God said nothing as Samuel slept by the Ark making sure the lamps were burning . . . God is still speaking and is just as likely to be found in the commonplace talking to the apprentice and not the know it all. In this season of ordinary time, we are all on the edge of creation. Lent will be here soon enough. The Easter banner will be hung . . . "

My personal "so what" was the realization that there were many nights Samuel didn't hear a word from God. There were many nights he slept alone in the temple "keeping watch" over the lanterns and . . . God . . . said . . . nothing. Ordinary time.

Insert peaceful exhale here.
S

"Worst Ministry Moment"

2009-01-12T16:46:00.000-08:00

Last year I had the privilege of co-officiating at the wedding of a good friend. There were four ministers. Every detail was thoughtfully planned. As I recall, my part of the service was to read scripture and say the benediction. Communion was part of the ceremony and one of the other ministers presided.

As she broke the bread, half the loaf fell to the floor, bounced, and rolled under the communion table. I had the best view in the church and as she knelt to retrieve the wayward bread she looked at me with horror. I gave her one of my best camp director faces that said, "It will be fine, just proceed dear." I was stunned and she was mortified. The bride and groom seemed unfazed. I remember thinking she should have called out, "Five second rule," but thought better of it.

Today I received a Facebook message from her telling me that the dropping of the bread incident was her worst ministry moment ever. Ouch. Her comment started me thinking about what my worst ministry moment might be. The worst ones can't be shared publicly . . . but of those that can be shared, here it is.

If you have one, I would love to "hear" it.
S

Unexpected

2009-01-12T16:34:00.000-08:00

Last week I received a call from someone I've never met to perform her daughter and future son in law's wedding. She read about me on my friend Laurie's blog.
So, this upcoming Sunday I'm driving to Montgomery, AL to officiate at the wedding of two new friends. This is a paying gig and I'm thankful, but I'm also honored. I love weddings and having a ring side seat has never failed to be amazing.

Back in the day I remember discussing whether or not I would officiate weddings of people I didn't know. Today the answer is yes, and I'm looking forward to it. Have car, plane ticket, passport . . . will travel. Let me know if I can be of service. ;)

S

The Meantime

2008-11-11T08:26:00.000-08:00

A recent conversation with a friend has me thinking about calling and "career" paths. She was brave enough to approach the subject of, my paraphrase here, "So, you don't have a job right now and your benefactress job isn't ready to cash in, what are you going to do?" I get the what do you do question a lot. Somehow, the what are you going to do now question is even scarier.

My first reaction was one of defense. "Never let them see you sweat." Remain calm, take deep breaths, and carefully craft an answer. This friend seemed to really want to know. She was asking from a place of concern. As I began to tell her that I didn't know, what I did know
spilled out and with that truth I was calmed . At this time, there are many uncertainties, nevertheless what I am sure of pulls me forward.

Even still there are days when I ask myself, "What if I just took a normal job?" What if I . . . ? What if I . . . ? I have this need to define my call especially when asked to explain what I "do". Ultimately I know that what I do matters, but it's hard to explain what in the world a freelance minister is and sometimes I get the feeling that my dad's business partner doesn't really want to hear about the panty project in Kidete. This morning while sitting at the kitchen table of my friend, I had a realization. Just like my friends with "real" jobs, I too am gaining priceless ministry experience. Observing the everyday life of a community, entering into conversations that matter, sitting with and listening to others while daring to share who I am . . . that is what I do.

Years ago I was asked to be the preacher at Baptist Women in Ministry's annual meeting. The idea of preaching in front of some of my most admired mentors was frightening. As my quivering hands and I stood in the back of the room waiting for the service to begin I made the comment, "I can't wait for this to be over." My wise friend Terry Thomas Primer gently suggested that I not wish away the waiting. She said, "It will be over before you know it, in the meantime, enjoy this experience. Drink in the moment."

I'm reminded of her words today as I once again tell myself to quit fighting the meantime. Today I will drink in the moment. Today I will not be afraid.
S

PS this is what i do too . . .
www.birthinghope.wordpress.com

Tell Me a Story

2008-11-06T14:40:00.000-08:00

We should write because it is human nature to write. Writing claims our world. It makes it directly and specifically our own. We should write because humans are spiritual beings and writing is a powerful form of prayer and meditation, connecting us both to our own insights and to a higher and deeper level of inner guidance.

We should write because writing brings clarity and passion to the act of living. Writing is sensual, experiential, grounding. We should write because writing is good for the soul. We should write because writing yields us a body of work, a felt path through the world we live in.

We should write, above all, because we are writers, whether we call ourselves that or not.

Julia Cameron, The Right to Write

The Things We Do for Love Pt. 2

2008-10-08T14:17:00.000-07:00

Call is an amazing force. There are many days when my vocational clarity is cloudy - many days, but I have yet to meet a day that produced a less than vivid ministry focus. My call to a concentration on international women's issues is clear and for that I am thankful. The challenge is that not many churches are hiring International Women's Issues Ministers. As our economy wobbles, non-profit spending is taking a nose dive along with church budgets and even standard church staff positions. I believe in the local church and I believe in non-traditional ministry. How do I successfully meld the two?

I'm not the only hipster looking for a new way to do ministry. I have a covey of friends with whom I commiserate. Do we settle for a 9 to 5 in exchange for health insurance or do we hold out for the miracle? Either way, we need health insurance.

Last month I attended a non-fiction writers' conference hosted by The Woodhull Institute. I spent three days in upstate New York learning and being amazed by the power of the pen. I came home with the expected - a book proposal, and the unexpected - a business plan.

Handwritten in a thank you note writing service for busy brides. Handwritten is a business as mission. My love for the local church has not wavered. My need for health insurance is still the same. I will work for both.

If you have a blog or a website, please consider linking to Handwritten by using the words, "Handwritten Notes", "A Thank you note writing service for busy brides," or simply, "Suzanah Raffield." The more links the higher the page rank. The higher the page rank, the quicker I become a Faith Based Liaison to the UN, an International Women's Minister, and a maternal health advisor to Ann Curry during her travels to Sudan. Let's network.

Many thanks.
S

the things we do for love

2008-10-06T12:25:00.000-07:00

On the Gulf Coast, October is one of the prettiest months of the year. This happens to be the first October I've spent in the US since 2004. Today I am working from the at home business of my friend Laurie Chapman. She asked me to write for her blog. I did and I thought I would share:

http://wiregrassweddings.blogspot.com/2008/10/hand-assembly-required.html

I have a new venture to introduce to you. It isn't quite ready, but it's coming and I can't wait.

S

still thinking

2008-09-26T06:13:00.001-07:00

This week I spoke to Elba's high school Girl Scout Troop. Their troop leader asked me to speak on the Tanzanian maternal health partnership I know and love. I told them about Kidete Couture (see Sept. 10 post) and the "little things" the women needed.

I asked the girls what their little things were. Here are some of their responses:
trust
confidence
self-motivation
real friends
love
encouragement
support
care
money for college
gas
a smile
a hug
technology
someone who really cares

Some of their "little things" aren't so little. I guess that is the whole point.

One girl wrote "a skinnier body" as her response. How do we counter popular culture and still be a part of it?

Still thinking about those "little things" . . .

Love Conquers All

2008-09-18T12:03:00.000-07:00

Life as I know it will never be the same again, and I am eternally grateful. Change is an understatement in describing the last couple of months in our home. Coffee tables that used to hold the morning’s rushed cup of coffee, now hold half-emptied baby bottles and yesterday’s burp cloth. A peaceful night’s rest now consists of 3AM feedings and sporadic bouts of crying. Simple outings to the store now entail a perfectly stocked diaper bag and all the baby essentials. Favorite TV shows, which were once watched all the way through, now involve multiple pauses and often missed endings. Hours spent on the phone to family and friends are now brief conversations tucked in between naps and feeding times. On July 19, 2008 at 9:50AM, my life was forever changed.

I admit it, I’m in love. When you’re in love, it’s easy to forget the lack of sleep. When you’re in love, it’s easy to forgive the bouts of crying and the disorderly house. Love conquers all things. During late night feedings nestled on the couch I stare in awe at this little person before me. I make contact with his sleepy eyes and tell him a story or two, or sing a few verses of my favorite hymn. I study his tiny fingers and chubby arms as they grasp my chest. I take notice of his soft hair and memorize every wave and swirl. I am mesmerized as I see features of myself displayed in this new human life. In these tender moments, I often wonder if God feels the same way about us.

I have always understood the basics of God’s love for humanity. Like the Psalmist who proclaims, “you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made…when I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.” The disciple Matthew claims that God knows every fiber of our being; even down to every hair on our head. In the midst of our adult reasoning, we tend to forget perhaps the most important role of the Creator in our lives. God is in fact Creator, Sustainer, Comforter and Peace. God is also Heavenly Parent. Made in the image of God, indeed we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

With the physical winds of seasonal change, may we feel the closeness of God’s parenting touch. May we allow God’s spirit to make contact with our busied lives and invite the Holy to share with us tender moments. May we sense an intimacy with our Creator that we have yet to experience. If we find a moment or two to pause, I just bet our Heavenly Mother has a story to tell and a few verses of life’s greatest song to sing to us.

L

Little Things

2008-09-10T19:47:00.000-07:00

I met Neema in April on a scouting trip in Tanzania. I work with an amazingly agile south Alabama church that asked me to take them on an international journey. Once I met Neema, and the village where she ministers, I knew we had our destination.

Mutually beneficial partnerships are important to me. I didn’t want to impose what I thought the village of Kidete needed onto an unsuspecting group that was too hospitable to tell me otherwise. In April, I asked Neema questions about women’s reproductive health.
What are some pressing needs of women in Kidete?
Where do the women in the village deliver their babies?
How do women in the village handle their monthly periods?
Do women in Kidete wear underwear?

I already knew that the overwhelming majority of women in the area lived on less than $1 per day and that sanitary napkins were a luxury item that most women could not afford. Neema told me that women in the village didn’t wear panties. Without panties, how would a standard 21st century sanitary napkin be of use to them? There was no garbage pick up in the village. Sustainability was key.

I returned home with a plan and the women of Elba got busy crafting re-usable sanitary napkins. We decided to call them Kidete Couture, which, in my opinion, is the hip name they deserve. 200 were made and enthusiastically transported to Tanzania by our group that visited this past summer.

The items were distributed one afternoon. Listening through an interpreter, we heard Neema explain the couture. The women’s applause needed no translation. I was overwhelmed by their gratitude.

Sitting with the women in the village, Neema told us that it is often the big issues groups attempt to tackle. She was thankful for large gifts, but she said, “Sometimes it is the little things that make a huge difference.”

Neema’s comment about the little things stays with me. I wonder how the women are doing and what other needs they have. I think about the lessons I could learn from the women of Kidete and how my life is better because I know them.

What are the “little things” for the women of Elba? They don’t need sanitary napkins or running water, but what do they need?

What are the little things for the women in your “village”?

Today my little thing isn’t tangible. Today my little thing is encouragement as I navigate uncertainty.
What are your little things? I really want to know.
S

Honestly I Do Not

2008-09-02T20:40:00.000-07:00

Paige is a long time friend with whom I usually resonate on issues pertaining to politics and human rights. For some reason, tonight, that all changed. We were discussing the back to back primaries in our country and all the hullabaloo in regards to the Republican VP choice, Sarah Palin. Out of the blue Paige said to me, "I think she should have stayed home for a year of maternity leave." Then she said, "Just how does she expect to run the country breast feeding a baby?"

Outraged does not adequately express how I felt. "Did you really just say, 'How does she expect to run the country and breast feed a baby?' Paige, now you are scaring me," I said. Suddenly I found myself in the middle of a diatribe about a dear friend, with whom I share this blog, who just last week led an entire week of Vacation Bible School in between morning and afternoon feedings. She also preaches and plans worship services.

If it is said that a woman should not be Vice President if she is breast feeding her child, is it also being said that a woman should not be VP when she is pregnant? Would that kind of logic lead to a ban on women in the West Wing of the White House during their reproductive years? Why would it ever be anyone but Sarah Palin's right to choose whether or not she breast feeds her baby?

When I asked Paige why she didn't think Gov. Palin could be VP and breast feed her baby at the same time she said, "Oh, come on. You know." Honestly, I do not.

S

2008-06-22T11:16:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed how some times "whatever" really means, "I'm aggravated with you right now and I think what you just said is a little dumb and I want to disagree, but I'm not getting into it,"? Yeah, we've noticed because not only do we hear it in the voice of the person who says it to us, but we hear it in our own voices when we say it.

"Whatever" is a red flag. "Whatever" is the check engine light of conversation. "Whatever" is ultimately a code word for needed communication.

It's funny how we use it in a way that suggests we don't care. In reality, we use it because we do.

In Philippians, Paul uses the word whatever multiple times in chapter 4 verse 8.

". . . whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence, and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things."

Maybe the next time I start to say "whatever" I will follow it with the words above. Alone, the word is weak.
S

Last Tuesday at the UN

2008-03-04T14:54:00.000-08:00

Being here makes my heart sing . . . the energy and
collective passion of those present makes for an
exciting time and I always find myself spinning with
new ideas and thoughts. Today was a nearly perfect UN
day.

Due to a long security line, our group opted for
coffee and croissants at the Episcopal Church
headquarters. They have a wonderful coffee shop and
bookstore located in their building. While there I
bought a lenten book on bread making that I want to
share with our communion bread making group.
http://www.episcopalchurch.org/ecc.htm
http://www.amazon.com/Give-This-Day-Reflections-Discipleship/dp/1596270462/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1204088151&sr=1-2

My first workshop of the day was on the 10th floor of
the church center and called, "Ecumenical Women's
Challenge to Financing for Development Agenda." It
was sponsored by the Lutheran World Federation, World
Council of Churches, Presbyterian Church, Methodist
women, the YWCA, and others. The room was pack and I
ended up sitting on top of a garbage can that,
thankfully, had a lid.

There were three panelists from Tanzania, India, and
South Africa. The woman from India was advocating
interest-free micro credit loans. By the way, the
Global Justice Center sent out an email yesterday that
included a nice synopsis of what I am attending. I
will include it now:

"The Commission on the Status of Women is a functional
commission of the United Nations Economic and Social
Council (ECOSOC), dedicated exclusively to gender
equality and advancement of women. Every year,
representatives of Member States gather at United
Nations Headquarters in New York to evaluate progress
on gender equality, identify challenges, set global
standards and formulate concrete policies to promote
gender equality and advancement of women worldwide.
The Commission was established with the aim to prepare
recommendations and reports to the Council on
promoting women's rights in political, economic,
civil, social and educational fields."

Each of the speakers were interesting, but my favorite
was the woman from South Africa. She is the senior
lecturer in ethics at the University of South Africa.
She consistently outlined why people of faith should
be concerned with the economic development of women.
She discussed the danger of exploiting the environment
for the sake of economic development. She underlined
that in the end, there are no gains when there are no
natural resources left. There must be, " . . .
development that is sustainable and enables the
fullness of life," she said.

It is a common practice in these meetings to collect
several questions before answering them. I'm guessing
this allows more people to ask questions and those who
are answering might be able to answer more than one at
once. Today's meeting was no different, questions
were collected and then the presenters began to
answer.

There was one extremely talkative presenter. During
her presentation she was asked several times by the
moderator to stop talking. She was talkative and
persistent. While she was answering the questions -
all of them - she took the opportunity to talk about
issues pertaining to the violence of women and how we
shouldn't forget that women are subjected to great
violence around the world. At that point, and after
the moderator had asked her to stop talking yet again,
my favorite presenter for South Africa whispered
something in her ear and took the microphone from her.

The South African presenter, Dr. Puleng LenkaBula, was
very polite and the talkative presenter seemed
stunned. Dr. LenkaBula said something like this,
"Poverty is the indignity of development and the lack
of development must be taken into consideration.
Violence against women is important, but we must not
lose our focus. We are here to discuss how poverty
affects women. Many times poverty is a key factor in
why women are abused." The microphone was given back
to the moderator and thunderous applause occurred.
Impressive and straight from the WMU style handbook of
social grace and action.

I just found Dr. LenkaBula's card. Her title is,
Senior Lecturer in Systematic Theology and Theological
Ethics. A quick google search turned up several
references including this one:
http://www.warc.ch/24gc/rw024/02.html
It is journal article she wrote for Reformed World. I
haven't read it yet, but it looks fascinating.
Towards the bottom she writes about the Church's
response to economic globalization.

Later in the afternoon I attended a workshop sponsored
by Oxfam, Launch of Program Packs Publications on the
Africa Women's Protocol.
http://www.hrw.org/women/africaprotocol/
http://publications.oxfam.org.uk/oxfam/default.asp?TAG=&CID=

The first link does a good job of explaining what the
African Women's Protocol is. 23 African countries
have ratified the protocol which means that 30 have
not. This reminds me, the US still has not ratified
CEDAW.
http://www.un.org/womenwatch/daw/cedaw/

One of the presenters discussed the fact that the
protocol doesn't do the women of Africa any good if
they don't know it exists. So, the Oxfam folks
created a campaign to get the word out among the
grassroots. They developed flip charts and posters so
that the average person could understand.

When it was time for questions a quiet young woman
from the World Youth Alliance spoke. She asked about
some of the wording in the protocol. Her question was
about dignity and whether or not it is intrinsic. She
was concerned that by claiming dignity as a right, the
protocol was missing the point that the women already
"own" their dignity. A protocol cannot give something
that someone already possesses.

The moderator didn't understand her point and the
audience members felt like it was a case of semantics,
but I thought she brought up a very interesting fact.
You can read the African Women's Protocol here:
http://www.africa-union.org/root/au/Documents/Treaties/Text/Protocol%20on%20the%20Rights%20of%20Women.pdf

After glancing over it I am impressed that whoever was
trying to get countries to sign it (maybe the African
Union), was able to get 20 countries to sign. I make
this statement based on the fact that the first issue
I looked at was marriage and this document states that
no girl can marry until she is 18. This document
would definitely not be ratified by the US government.
Do we have any laws that dictate marriage age? We
should, but I'm not sure we do.

My final workshop of the day was for the purpose of
discussing a fifth women's world congress.
http://www.un.org/womenwatch/daw/beijing/index.html
Jean Shinoda Bolen moderated.
http://www.jeanshinodabolen.com/
This workshop definitely had a different energy than
most of the ones I attend here. She began by saying,
"What is the story you came to live out? Why are you
attending these meetings?" She told the audience to
ask three questions regarding what brought them to the
CSW:
1. Is it meaningful?
2. Will it be fun?
3. Is it motivated by love?

Gloria Steinem was on the panel. She encouraged the
audience to remember that, "this room is a
conference." "My constant effort is to live in the
present. The means is an end."
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/01/22/sunday/main1227391.shtml
I was awestruck.

We ended the workshop in small groups. The founder
of New Moon magazine, Nancy Gruver, was in my group.
http://www.newmoon.org/magazine/
So was Emilie Heller, former leader in the Equality
Opportunity Commission, and Susan Jones.

I'm considering submitting this email as a chapter of
my dissertation! It was a great day at the UN.

Loving being here,
S